Buy Yourself Medals

Do you find that you are not as accomplished as that Ken Doll of a 'friend' you have that seems to have every wall in his house lined with Medals that he started to win at the age of three months? Your moment of inferiority is over my friend, buy your own medals. You can get them from shops all over your country, and in some places they are very cheap!

Failing that, I urge you to steal them.

Make sure you have an interesting story that goes with every single one of your medals and do not hesitate to tell every person who comes to your house the story of how you 'won' every one of them.
If you find your memory fails you, write it in a notebook and study it before you have visitors over. The more creative the better.

"Oh this one? Well I got that for saving Obama's Grandmother from a rapist in the church toilets"

Make sure you have something believable about every single story and if you are suspected of lying about your medals get very very angry, then condescending. You'll find that people are already lining up to be your friend. Nothing attracts minions so much as success.